As someone who spent a large portion of his life identifying as an atheist, I am constantly being asked by friends and family if I am a “Christian,” a believer, as they call it.
I never like to put myself into ideological boxes. I prefer to maintain the humility to accept the fact that I know much less than I think I know, and that those around me who are so sure of themselves know even less.
So I’ve never liked the question “do you believe in God?” At risk of being labeled a student of Jordan Peterson, a label I carry with much honor as he is an intellectual hero of mine, I think that these types of questions are not the right ones to ask of someone.
For example, what do you mean by “believe?” What do you mean by “God?” Now, I know this may seem to be some type of obfuscation on my part, but I genuinely need to know what people mean before I can honestly, and effectively, answer questions like that. You see, when someone asks “do you believe in God?” What they are really asking is if I think like them. If I have the same concept or idea of God and reality as they do, and 100% of the time the answer to that is a resounding NO! The same thing applies to the word believe. I don’t know what people mean by believe. Is it mere intellectual assent? Or, does it mean that the way I live out my life reflects belief in that reality that they have in mind? It’s hard to know without clarifying terms.
Now, if I was pressed on the issue, I would say I identify as an Agnostic Cultural Christian Atheist. Yes, that’s a lot of terms/labels, but hear me out. Agnostic because I really don’t think that I or anyone else can know with any degree of absolute certainty the answers to these deep questions, like does God exist and who created the universe. Cultural Christian because I was born and raised in a Christian environment; from my home to my school to my government, it’s all been imbued with the Christian mythos. And, if I am quite honest about it, I think Christianity trumps all the other options like Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, etc. This might be a bit of Western pride on my part, but come on, I’ve never seem Islam or Hinduism, for example, as particularly attractive options in the marketplace of ideas.
Atheist because this position is the answer to one simple question: Do you believe God exists? If I can’t answer that in the positive, then I am an atheist by definition, because I lack belief in said deity.
Now, I am not a resistant atheist. I am open to the idea that God may exist and if he wants me to believe he exists he would know what it would take to convince me of the fact. So, we circle back to the agnostic position.
All this to say that I am not a fan of labels that put me in intellectual boxes, that let others know “he’s on our team” or “he’s on the other team.” Call me a denominational, ideological mutt, I don’t care.
